Thursday, December 12, 2013

Elf on a Shelf nonsense.

I am not a fan of the creepy weird Elf on a Shelf that people seem to have so much fun doing this time of the year.  Here is my facebook status rant about those creepy little bastards.

I had forgotten about that whole "Elf on a Shelf" weirdness that pops up this time of the year. I'm so glad that I didn't get in on that. I'm sure I'll hear from my two younger ones why doesn't the elf come to our house and I'll have to tell them; "because yo Mama ain't got time for no naughty elf up in here, up in here! You kids are naughty and messy enough, I ain't having any more. Plus I done put an elf protection spell on our house, yo."

So there you have my feelings on those things.  I understand that it is a nice little tradition for your family. I guess if you enjoy taking that precious time when our little heathen children are finally knocked out for the night and wasting it on playing with that disturbing looking androgynous elf.  If you want to spend those glorious quiet moments taking all the ornaments off the Christmas tree and replacing it with your kids underwear, go ahead.  I mean, I'll just be over here enjoying some peace and quiet before passing out and starting the day over again with these three kids.

I'm not sure I follow the logic of Santa sending an elf to watch you and make sure you are doing good but the elf itself is a horribly behaved demon.  How does that make sense?  Do people's kids not see the idiocy in that?  And the notes that the elf leaves behind?  Do your kids not recognize your handwriting?  My kids would.  Plus why would the elf suddenly be in a weird position, wouldn't it just go back to normal static position as soon as it knew you were about to wake up?

I'm glad we don't all have to subscribe to the same set of traditions.  This new one is lost on me.  

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